Cult TV Essentials

Cult TV Essentials: Phoo Action

Phoo Action was a BBC Three 60 minute TV pilot that was scheduled to become a series but unfortunately was cancelled at the last minute. The show is told from the perspective of a young girl named Whitey Action (Jaime Winstone) who is the daughter of Ben Benson – Chief of the London police (played by Carl Weathers).

As events unfold, a gang of mutants, known as The Freebies, kill The Queen. Whitey correctly believes they are behind the murder but her father does not. Benson instead focus on a single ‘a mutant insurgent’ suspect. Benson’s superior, Lord Rothwell (Danny Webb) brings in a highly trained combat cop from the Hong Kong JKD police force known as Terry Phoo. Phoo is supposedly an expert at fighting mutants but his detective skills are few and far between.

Later we join The Freebies as they are reprimanded for killing the Queen by a mysterious group of people known as known as the Star Chamber. It is revealed that the plan was to mutate The Queen and not actually kill her.The Star Chamber give the Freebies one last chance, demanding that William is mutated before he is crowned.

Whilst out partying at a Freebies nightclub, Whitey witnesses Princes William and Harry being led off by the Freebies. Suspecting the worst she creates a diversion that stops the two Princes being kidnapped. Unfortunately this diversion results in Whitey getting arrested by Terry Phoo.

Whitey convinces Phoo that she is a special agent so he takes her to his hotel room. Whitey becomes hungry and looks around the room for chocolate but instead finds a case containing “the Buddha’s loincloth” that for some reason transforms into a pair of hotpants, which Whitey immediately tries on. Phoo is rather shocked by this, especially when she pulls a giant chocolate egg out of them and the legend of a ‘Chosen One’ who is destined to use their power is revealed – Whitey can pull anything she desires from the pants and Terry decides this means that she is the Chosen One and together they will now fight crime!

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