Picking up where the first left off, with Mark (Zach Galligan) and Sara, now played by (Monika Schnarre) watching the museum burn down and leaving; while being followed by the zombie hand, they take a taxi and head home. Unknowingly giving a ride to the zombie hand as well.
Curious that the taxi driver doesn’t seem to care that these kids are walking away from a blazing fire in the middle of the suburbs i nthe middle of the night or that no firetrucks or rescue vehicles have been sent. Just sayin’, people here don’t seem too upset by things. Not the missing people from the last film who were last known to go to the museum, not the army of geriatric warriors who some of have-to-have families or the missing cops or a raging fire and explosion. Maybe I’m asking too much from a movie. You know, common sense or logic…but anyway.
As Sara sneaks in her home, we see why she might have such a connection to DeSade in the first film as we meet her abusive step-father. If you, like me, were wondering what the zombie hand might be up well, we see it go all Ash’s hand from Evil Dead 2 on her stepdad and her. With the garbage disposal being the true hero.
A slight time jump, considering this film is about time traveling, not surprising. Sara is on trial for the murder of her stepdad and it’s not going well, Mark isn’t helping by backing up her story of a zombie hand being the real killer because who wouldn’t believe that story. At least they admitted the museum burned down and 200 people died.
Leaving the courthouse the go to the only place left to try and prove her innocence: Sir Wilfred’s home. He left a message for them to explain everything that happened and why. Mark has inherited all the artifacts the Sir Wilfred and Marks grandpa collected over the years to continue to fight evil.
In a secret room they find the artifacts, One in particular catches Marks attention, a compass with a small scroll explaining what it is and Sara notices a portrait of someone but doesn’t get to inspect it. The object Mark finds is a time door opener. Last film we had wax figure evil pocket dimensions into different horror stories across time..looks like we’re going thru time doors in this one. The compass points to portals in time that they can go thru. One opens up in the room they’re in and like thru the looking glass away they go. While falling Sara is grabbed and taken by a flying demon/bat/something creature Mark continues to fall. Seeing a moment from his childhood with his parents he goes back into his mother’s womb, don’t ask, and drops into Castle Frankenstein. Sara as the Baroness who doesnt seem to recognize him.
In the laboratory we see The Monster who wants fed, instead of the maggot infested ‘slop’ he normally gets fed Mark gives him the remnants of the Baron’s meal, real food and finds his journal. Leaving the Monster to his food he goes to find Sarah, finding her and convincing her to remember who she is they leave with the journal to hopefully use it to fins a way to prove her innocence in the trial. The Baron stops them before they can leave and since it’s Frankenstein torch bearing townspeople come for the Monster and chase them all to the lab.
And as you might expect Monster turns on creator as they go for the time door, Sarah goes in, Mark waits, wanting to journal he dropped but the portal isnt there anymore. Trapped in the lab with a rampaging Monster and the townspeople breaking down the door. Finding a new portal Mark winds up black and white at a haunted house with the legend that is Bruce Campbell.
While gets ready to investigate the haunted house with Groovy Bruce Sarah is on a spaceship, part of a crew and giving up Ripley vibes a s the surviving members drop us the back story of what’s going on. You know the drill, inspecting a derelict spaceship find something they should have left alone, but bring it on board and hatches out to hunt them down one by one as they prepare for the final fight.
The alien..i mean the ‘creature’ attacks killing all but Sarah and 1 other member of the crew, they escape out to the shuttle as we go back to seeing what Mark and the ghost investigators are up to. Mark trying to get the compass to point to another portal is tormented by ghosty noises. Hoping that the machines recorded the event the ladies go to their rooms. Mark goes to check on them and Bruce stays behind to wait and see what happens next. Mark comes back to find the machines recording all sorts of info while Bruce is missing. After the noise stops Mark goes looking for the missing John/Bruce, but instead finds ghostly children, telling him what to look for, apparitions in the door and blood dripping down the walls that turns into a wave that chases him, very Kubrick and Hitchcock mixed together where he finds the body of one of the ladies (Marina Sirtis) hanging from the ceiling and the other is called to by children’s voices, she and Mark find John/Bruce in the basement partially flayed open while birds peck at him, some of the dumbest yet comically funny scenes of trying to save him. Mixing the corny horror of the old school films with the gory of modern and just letting Bruce be Bruce. Mark saves the day and finds the portal. This part of the film is worth watching the entire thing for.
Back in space onboard the shuttle…Sarah and the other survivor prep the ship to leave but as you might guess they arent alone one of the ali..creatures bursts out of her crewmate with Mark saving her. Unfortunately, he lost the Barons journal to the Lochness monster on his way to this world but does have a voodoo spell to use. While all the rest of the creatures converge on the shuttle the compass is taken by one but Mark manages to grab it and Sarah before the self destruct…destructs the shuttle.
They wake up in a medieval time with the portal compass lost somewhere. A group of knights surround them and take off with Sarah. Wanting to give chase Mark is stopped by a stranger, David Carradine…we got some legends of the low budget genre in this..who gives Mark and us an exposition dump on who has taken Sarah, the evil Sacarabis, I mean if thats your name you pretty much HAVE to be evil, Giving Mark his sword.
At the castle Scarabis (Alex Godunov) and his very DeSade like henchman (Michael Des Barres) bring Sarah in, who’s personality has been overtaken by Scarabis’s sister. Hitching a ride on a hay cart Mark gets inside the castle where he finds a very drunk/drugged Sarah. Hiding Mark watches a ceremony being performed of turning a woman into a cat creature and Scarabis drinking some of her blood. Sarah finally wakes up and recognizes Mark. And because they HAVE to explain the situation they’re in they get captured. Again. To save Mark Sarah has to marry the king
While Mark is in the dungeon as the Man in the Iron Mask Sir Wilfred comes to help as a raven..with a little breaking the 4th wall he tells Mark, and us, what’s going on with the compass, it opens a door to a place called Kartagna, a realm where good and evil fight for eternity for supremacy or as Sir Wilfred explains, God’s nintendo game where God and the Devil use chosen champions across time and space to fight their war. Mark learns he’s been chosen to fight for the light side and that they only will have one chance to get back to their own time and is given back his compass.But first, he has to save Sarah.
The DeSade-like henchman drugs the King and he’s taken to his room to recover. Mark makes his way thru the dungeon, freeing the prisoners down there as his army. Scarabis using the power the blood he drank from the catwoman earlier transforms into the king, which is a touch odd since he’s going to be marrying his sister in just a little bit but hey, he’s king. Mark and his allies get overwhelmed quickly and as he tries to warn them about the king. Not totally believing him Mark leads them thru a tunnel behind the kings bed to where the real king has been taken and about to be killed.
Back in the bedroom and because security in movies always have to be the dumbest people in the room the fake King/Scarabis simply walked out. Mark and the kings men chase after Scarabis and Sarah. Dropping his disguise Scarabis watches as one of his men beats Mark all over the room but manages to finally get the upper hand. Scarabis lets Sarah know they will be married and he will be king. Well, at least king.
Mark and Scarabis sword fight, activating the compass and portals to different times/places…the lab of Dr. Jekyll, in full Hyde mode, a mall full of zombies, where Mark grabs a souvenir of a zombie hand..see the connection to the beginning and a way to save Sarah?..into the alleys of London and home of the ripper known as Jack who Mark kicks into the world of a certain vampire or Nosferatu, then to Tokyo as a certain atomic fire breathing god lizard is attacking.
Meanwhile Sarah is fighting for her life against the evil Henchman, she wins just as Mark and Scarabis and a robot come back thru a portal, still fighting. Just as Scarabis is about to win, the zombie hand gives…a hand…and they break int othe dungeon where the cat woman from earlier, who is REALLY mad, ends Scarabis’ reign of terror. Meanwhile the hand makes its get away. Regaining the compass Mark and Sarah reunite, and the zombie hand has been captures.
Using the compas to open a portal a quick look shows it’s not home but IS home to pods that snatch bodies. Finally thinking it through they know how to get home but only one can go. Mark gives her the hand and pushes her through. From spoiled rich brat in the first film to chosen time warrior of the light in the second Mark’s story has been told. And he watches the love of his life leave. Forever.
Sarah back in Sir Wilfred’s home finally gets the chance to look at the painting from earlier that she was interested in. It’s Mark, the hero. Warrior of the light. At her trial with the zombie hand exonerating her Sarah is proven innocent and free to live her life.And from right out of that time traveling car film, a delivery man has a package for Sarah…I wonder what it could be? The compass with a note from Mark: ‘Find Me’.One of the perks of being a time traveling warrior of light is that you can use time for your own advantage sometimes. True love finds a way. Sarah disappears into time to reunite with Mark.
While this one isn’t AS serious as the first and is played far more as a comedy it’s still a fun film. We get the heroes journey of both our characters and a lot of fun cameos and winks and nods to other films of this time. These are aways a fun watch, especially as a back to back to watch. Again, as I mentioned in the other review there is a surprisingly large amount of world building in theses..way more than enough to build a series from. Just playing with all the pop culture out there, both for laughs and serious.
If you get the chance or just want to watch them for yourself without my writing it all down by all means watch them and just have some fun. Keep an open mind, don’t take it seriously and make a night of it. You won’t be disappointed especially if you have any knowledge of horror films and stories.
Comments? Witty remarks? Think I should stop doing these and do something important with my life or at least NOT this? Feel free to let me know.
Till next time…
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