CULT FACTION

For all your cult film, tv, cartoon, comic and video game needs

Moments in Cult: Nelson’s After the Rain

Poodle-pop duo Nelson was an extreme anomaly in the history of hair metal. nothing about them scanned as “metal.” They dressed like a pair of androgynous sex yetis, and their amps looked as if they were fashioned from pool noodles and unicorn tears. I’m pretty sure their sole connection to the world of Headbangers Ball was “having funny-shaped guitars.”

Imagine the director sitting in a meeting of music-industry bigwigs and pitching the treatment for Nelson’s 1990 hit “After the Rain”.

Nelson kidnaps an impressionable young slip of a lad and transports him to an astral plane where he has a magical connection with a Native American who hands the twins a magic feather. Afterwards, the only way the sensitive young pup can find salvation and tranquillity is by watching two afghan hounds play tandem guitar on a stage made of rock, while the drummer from Vinnie Vincent Invasion wears sequined bondage trousers.

In the finished version of the video, a boy from an abusive home seeks comfort in Nelson cassettes, and the band whisks him away to their secret world like an episode of Jamie’s Magic Torch. Bleached-blonde pretty boys sing to a woman about rebounding after being dumped — that’s what we’re supposed to believe is speaking to this directionless, dirt-poor 18-year-old with an unsupportive father.

Bonus points to the director for having the restraint not to show any actual rain in this video.

Related Posts
Why are Tarantino films so rubbish now?

There's a scene in the Wizard of Oz. Having killed the Wicked Witch of the West, Dorothy returns to the Emerald City. The Wizard delays her request to grant her well-deserved reward Read more

Who really were the N.W.A. in Hot Fuzz?

It was 2007 when director Edgar Wright dropped Hot Fuzz on us. The film was written by Wright and Simon Pegg and featured long time collaborator Nick Frost. It is Read more

Who is the best Spider-Man?

The record-breaking Spider-Man: No Way Home trailer finally revealed some of what we can expect from the much-anticipated third Tom Holland Spider-Man movie this Christmas. And it turns out what Read more

Who is Saw Gerrera?

Since the release of Rogue One people have been wanting to know more about the character Saw Gerrera (played in the movie by Forest Whitaker) - so we have dug deep into Read more

Who are The Inhumans?

We all know about Marvel’s current urgency to make The Inhumans the centre of their universe. It is clear to see that with the upcoming rebranding of Scarlet Witch and Read more

Whatever happened to The Ex-Presidents?

In July 1991, Kathryn Bigelow’s Point Break arrived at the cinema and clashed with Terminator 2: Judgment Day's (directed by Bigelow's then husband, James Cameron). Whilst Terminator 2 would dominate, Read more

What To Watch Next: The Knick

Period dramas have become a popular genre of late with series such as Downton Abbey and The Borgia’s grabbing big audiences. The Knick however is a a  period drama that Read more

What makes a video game a classic?

In this blog I will be running through the Classics, but before we go there, we have to know a few things first. To understand what makes a game a Read more

What is A113?

One imagines there are many secrets contained within the corridors of Disney. Was Walt really cryogenically frozen? Just who was responsible for 'Treasure Planet'? How come Donald Duck doesn't wear pants? One thing we Read more

What ever happened to Bill and Ted’s Excellent History Presentation?

Back in 1989 two dudes known as Bill S. Preston Esq. (Alex Winter) and Ted "Theodore" Logan (Keanu Reeves) - together they were known as Wyld Stalyns -  needed to Read more

What does it mean to be a “Gamer”?

I say to people I am a gamer, and to me being a gamer means spending at least 3 hours a day with a mouse and keyboard or controller in Read more

What Are The Top Ten Stephen King Books?

Stephen King, an American author of contemporary horror, suspense, science fiction, and fantasy is one of my all time favourite authors. His books have sold more than 350 million copies Read more

Twin Peaks – Season 3: What we have learned so far…

At 2am on Monday the 22nd of May I raised my cup of Damn Fine Coffee and re-entered the realm of Twin Peaks. There was a deep humming noise. There Read more

Trailer released for The Daleks’ Master Plan on Vinyl!

Demon Music are releasing the 12-part ‘lost’ adventure The Daleks’ Masterplan, first shown on BBC television from October 1965 to January 1966, as a narrated full-cast TV soundtrack on vinyl! Read more

Top 10 Stephen King Film Adaptations

We seem to have been pummeled by Stephen King film adaptations since the late the 1970’s, if I’m honest most are terrible. Being an avid fan of Stephen King’s writing, Read more

The worst Doctor Who episode of the modern era?

With the exception of series 1 and 10 every season of Doctor Who has that one episode the fans don’t want to talk about. You know, watch once and then Read more

The Rise of Skywalker – One 40 Something’s ‘Obsessed Fanboy’ pre-release thoughts…

No one likes an 'I told you so', so let's get the unpleasant bit out of the way. I told you so. Back in Feb 2018, whilst I was still Read more

The Polar Express – A Christmas Horror!

Robert Zemeckis 2004 film ‘The Polar Express’ was in the main panned by critics on release and was not as successful as distributors Warner Brothers would have liked. It has Read more

The Mystery of Morley Cigarettes

Morley is a fictional brand of cigarettes that has appeared in various television shows, films, and even video games that otherwise have no connection to each other. The iconic, fictional Read more

The Matrix 4? Who cares?

Apparently there’s a new Matrix film on the horizon (probably swishing slowly into view now as they iron out the glitches).  My question is who cares?  The Original matrix arrived Read more

Stephen Pryde-Jarman is a Cult TV and Film journalist, award winning short story writer, playwright and screenwriter. A natural hoarder, second hand shopping fulfils his basic human need for hunter-gathering; but rummaging through a charity shop’s bric-a-brac shelf also brought him the inspiration for his novel Rubble Girl having seen a picture of a Blitz survivor sat amongst the rubble of her house with a cup and saucer. Rubble Girl has been described as " thought-provoking" and "fast paced ... with plenty of twists and turns." Amazon.

%d bloggers like this: