The original Wicker Man left Nicolas Cage “disturbed for about two weeks.” Imagine what it must take to have Nicholas Cage disturbed. A man startled that during that fortnight’s window, he pitched the concept of re-imagining one of the most nuanced films about inter-faith struggle ever concocted. It’s like a bizarre mental exercise: what would you get if Sam Peckinpah took on Mr Bean? Or Lars Von Trier remade Love, Actually? (I’d rather like to see that).
Fortunately for us here in Cult Faction Towers, someone took Mr Cage seriously.
After failing to protect a little girl and her mum from a fatal car wreck, Cage’s highway patrolman, a simple-minded, drawling, trundling behemoth of a character spirals into a medicated torpor. Then he gets a postcard from ex-fiancée Willow Woodward, now living on the secluded island community of Summersisle (that extra ‘S’ stands for ‘superfluous’) and wants Edward to help locate missing daughter Rowan.
Summersisle is a female-dominated environment, designed as a sanctuary for oppressed womenfolk. Here, the matriarchs observe the Olde ways, and the few males are near-mute breed-mules. It’s like Love Island on a large scale. Summersisle’s chief export is honey, a figurative and literal headache for Edward, as he’s allergic to…
But what am I doing? Who cares about the plot? At a merciless 102 minutes, we watch Cage flail around this enclave, bewildered at every turn. There’s the ‘How did it get burned?’ scene, that moment where he decks a woman while costumed as a bear, and then, right before his inevitable fiery conclusion, there are the bees.
Ah yes! The bees!!
After smashing his legs, the psycho-hippy chicks cover our hero’s head with a veil and dump bees inside, prompting him to shriek, ‘What is that, what is it? Oh no, not the bees! Not the bees! My eyes, my eyes! Agh!’
Only Nicolas Cage can produce a scene where bee torture is funny.
Unbelievably, In the theatrical cut, the crowds didn’t get the now-legendary scene where Mr Cage has a veil put over his face and the women dump bees inside. The poor unfortunate souls! It’s like watching Rocky without Sylvester Stallone running up the steps.
Zoolander is back but a lot has happened since 2001! Rest assured the Ben Stiller comedy features familiar faces and a few new ones with plenty to get you excited. Read more
Zone 414 is an upcoming American science fiction thriller film written by Bryan Edward Hill and directed by Andrew Baird. The film stars Guy Pearce, Matilda Lutz, Jonathan Aris, Jóhannes Haukur Jóhannesson, Olwen Fouéré, Colin Salmon, Antonia Campbell-Hughes, Read more
Homemade horror-comedy feature Zomblogalypse received its UK premiere at Dead Northern Film Festival - in association with Fangoria and Shudder - at City Screen York on 26th September 2021. The Read more
Tony Todd is back in an all new zombie movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBlWz-n-nec When the world is in shambles, plagued by a zombie outbreak, only the strong will survive, but just how Read more
Columbus, Tallahasse, Wichita, and Little Rock move to the American heartland as they face off against evolved zombies, fellow survivors, and the growing pains of the snarky makeshift family... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SL6NTQhEqn4 Read more
In Zombieland 2: Double Tap, Columbus, Tallahasse, Wichita, and Little Rock move to the American heartland as they face off against evolved zombies, fellow survivors, and the growing pains of Read more
Zombie With A Shotgun is the feature adaptation of the popular web series of the same name. Aaron and Rachel are on the run due to the fact that Aaron is Read more
Directed by Anthony C. Ferrante, Zombie Tidal Wave aims to pick up where the Sharknado franchise left off. More serious in tone, the film plays more like the original Sharknado Read more
It's a Zombie Tsunami! From the same twisted minds behind Sharknado comes an all-new disaster: Zombie Tidal Wave starring Ian Ziering. Watch the world premiere Saturday August 17th at 9/8c Read more
11 years ago, a zombie virus killed many people, while others had their family members turned into zombies. Society is still angry, and so outside the city, a zombie fight Read more
Haiti, 1962. A man is brought back from the dead to work in the hell of sugar cane plantations. 55 years later, a Haitian teenager tells her friends her family Read more
On her first holiday without her father, Zoey attempts to create a magical Christmas for her family just like the ones Mitch used to do. Zoey's Extraordinary Christmas, an all-new Read more
Zoe Kravitz has been cast to play Catwoman/Selina Kyle in The Batman, a role she recently voiced in The Lego Batman Movie. Kravitz was also recently in Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse Read more
A UFO lands on Earth, unleashing a giant monster that is half lizard, half gorilla - Zillafoot! The monster rampages, decimating any military response and even awakening a strange dinosaur. Read more
Directed and starring James Franco, Zeroville follows a young actor who arrives in Hollywood in 1969 during a transitional time in the Industry... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ew7FZRAfAog
The trailer has been revealed for Zero-One Others: Kamen Rider Metsuboujinrai. The movie is written by Yuya Takahashi and directed by Masaya Kakehi. It will have a limited theatrical release Read more
Directed by Rick Dugdale, Zero Contact stars Academy Award® winner Sir Anthony Hopkins (The Silence of the Lambs), Chris Brochu, and Aleks Paunovic. This high-tech thriller chillingly reimagines our isolated, virtual Read more
Law & Order: Organized Crime’s Allison Siko stars with Braeson Herold, in his Freakshow award-winning performance, in Zero Avenue – available now to rent or buy on Apple TV via Read more
Ryan Reynolds announced via Twitter that Zazie Beets (Atlanta) will play Domino in the upcoming Deadpool sequel: https://twitter.com/VancityReynolds/status/839947701487796224 Deadpool 2 will be directed by David Leitch (John Wick), with original Deadpool scripters Rhett Reese Read more
Zaphod Beeblebrox, the two-headed ex-President of the Galaxy in Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, is one of the most distinctive and memorable characters in the series. Through Read more
Stephen Pryde-Jarman
Stephen Pryde-Jarman is a Cult TV and Film journalist, award winning short story writer, playwright and screenwriter. A natural hoarder, second hand shopping fulfils his basic human need for hunter-gathering; but rummaging through a charity shop’s bric-a-brac shelf also brought him the inspiration for his novel Rubble Girl having seen a picture of a Blitz survivor sat amongst the rubble of her house with a cup and saucer. Rubble Girl has been described as " thought-provoking" and "fast paced ... with plenty of twists and turns." Amazon.
More Stories
New poster released for The Beekeeper
Stigmata to get 2-Disc Limited Collector’s Edition Bluray & DVD release
ARROW’s December line up has arrived