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Fantastic Four Trailer released – yep… as expected…

After months of speculation as to how far off the mark the new Fantastic Four movie would be it would seem that it was confirmed today by a trailer that makes it look like a SyFy movie voiced over by Batman:

Trailer Breakdown:

  • Stock helicopter footage of a city and some hill – fade to black.
  • A shot of Grimm Salvage – a meta subtext?
  • It then pans up to the stars – which is ironic as they are ignoring all those plot points in this film.
  • Car racing across field – lame inference.
  • Science geek kid – lamer inference.
  • Some people getting shut in cheap looking metal drums – the kind you saw in half to make a BBQ!
  • Fade to black.
  • Twentyish government officials sat around the worlds smallest meeting table.
  • A guy with glasses walking along smiling – looks a bit sure a killer like – wait a minute he has glasses – he must the Science Geek Kid from earlier!
  • The hot girl from American Horror Story is listening to her headphones at work, oh, ok it’s like a big radar.
  • Some skinny young kid is playing baseball,
  • Another guy is fixing a car – he must be the speeding car guy from earlier.
  • An older black guy looks concerned. He must be the Mr Storm.
  • Six guys is space suits climb into compartments in a machine.
  • One of them has glasses – could be that guy from earlier.
  • Looks like it all goes wrong and blows up! Im guessing Mr Storm dies!
  • Wait! Weird things are happening to some of the survivors, the one’s who actually knew each other before hand – how fortuitous!
  • There’s some injured guy in a hospital bed (Victor Von Hacker?)
  • Then we close out with an upgraded scene from Gauntlet with our four characters staring at a light shooting out the ground, very similar to the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers movie.

VERDICT: If I knew nothing about The Fantastic Four this film would do little to intrigue me to do so – not even a Yancy Street sign!

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Founded Cult Faction in 2014; previously crawled out of the Black Lodge in 1976, only to find himself in the Village.

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