CULT FACTION

For all your cult film, tv, cartoon, comic and video game needs

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a 1964 science fiction film that regularly appears on lists of the worst films ever made. It was directed by Nicholas Webster, and it stars John Call as Santa Claus. It also includes an 8-year-old Pia Zadora playing the role of one of the Martian children and also marks the first documented appearance of Mrs. Claus in a motion picture (Doris Rich plays the role), coming three weeks before the TV special Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer also featured the character.

The story involves the people of Mars, including Momar (“Mom Martian”) and Kimar (“King Martian”). They’re worried that their children Girmar (“Girl Martian”) and Bomar (“Boy Martian”) are watching too much Earth television, most notably station KID-TV’s interview with Santa Claus in his workshop at the North Pole. Consulting the ancient 800-year-old Martian sage Chochem (a Yiddish word meaning “genius”), they are advised that the children of Mars are growing distracted due to the society’s overly rigid structure; from infancy, all their education is fed into their brains through machines and they are not allowed individuality or freedom of thought.

Chochem notes that he had seen this coming “for centuries”, and says the only way to help the children is to allow them their freedom and be allowed to have fun. To do this, they need a Santa Claus figure, like on Earth. Leaving the Chochem’s cave, the Martian leaders decide to abduct Santa Claus from Earth and bring him to Mars. As the Martians could not distinguish between all the fake Santas, they kidnapped two children to find the real one. Once this is accomplished, one Martian, Voldar, who strongly disagrees with the idea, repeatedly tries to kill Santa Claus along with the two kidnapped Earth children. He believes that Santa is corrupting the children of Mars and turning them away from the race’s original glory.

When they arrive on Mars, Santa and the children build a factory to make toys for the children. However, Voldar and his assistants, Stobo and Shim, sabotage the factory and change the programming so that it makes the toys incorrectly. Meanwhile, Dropo, Kimar’s assistant, has taken a great liking to Santa Claus and Christmas, puts on one of Santa’s spare suits and starts acting like Santa Claus. He goes to the toy factory to make toys, but Voldar mistakes him for Santa and kidnaps him.

When Santa and the children come back to the factory to make more toys, they discover the machines have been tampered with. Voldar and Stobo come back to the factory to make a deal with Kimar, but when they see the real Santa Claus they realize that their plan has been foiled. Dropo, held hostage in a cave, tricks his guard Shim and escapes. Kimar then arrests Voldar, Stobo and Shim. Santa notices Dropo acts like him, and says that Dropo would make a good Martian Santa. Kimar agrees to let Dropo be the Martian Santa Claus and sends Santa and the children back to Earth.

Related Posts
Zeiram (1991)

Directed by Keita Amemiya, Zeiram follows two intergalatic bounty hunters named Iria (Yûko Moriyama) and Bob (Masakazu Handa) who accept Read more

White Ghost (1988)

Written by Gary Scott Thompson and directed by BJ Davis, White Ghost (which is military code for a Vet who Read more

Time Walkers (1982)

Directed by Tom Kennedy, Time Walkers (aka Being from Another Planet) follows professor Douglas McCadden (played by Ben Murphy - Read more

The Stuff (1985)

Written and directed by Larry Cohen, The Stuff mixes satire, horror and science fiction to deliver somewhat of a throwback Read more

The Courier of Death (1984)

Directed by Tom Shaw, Courier of Death follows expert deliverman J.D. Blackman (played by Joey Johnson), who alongside his partner Read more

The California Dolls (1981)

Directed by Robert Aldrich, The California Dolls (aka ...All The Marbles) follows wrestling manager Harry Sears (Peter Falk) and his Read more

Stone Cold (1991)

Written by Walter Doniger and directed by Craig R. Baxley, Stone Cold follows suspended Alabama police officer Joe Huff (Brian Read more

Shadowchaser (1992)

Directed by John Eyres, Shadowchaser (known is some regions as Project: Shadowchaser) will look very familiar to you, especially if Read more

Retro Puppet Master (1999)

Directed by David DeCoteau, Retro Puppet Master is the seventh film in the Puppet Master franchise. It begins in 1944, Read more

Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich (2018)

Directed by Sonny Laguna and Tommy Wiklund, and written by S. Craig Zahler, Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich is a Read more

Founded Cult Faction in 2014; previously crawled out of the Black Lodge in 1976, only to find himself in the Village.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: